I remember the first time my cock got hard, vividly. I woke up from a dream and I felt something different. I was hard and it was a bit terrifying and also magical. My relationship with my penis changed from that moment. It went from being more than just that dangly bit that hung between my legs and that I used to urinate to being a source of mystery, pleasure and confusion.
Suddenly, I would find that my cock got hard at random times and sometimes at the most inconvenient moments. I learned to adjust it more and to sometimes think boring thoughts and other times, when I was alone, I would enjoy touching my cock and exploring the range of sensations and experiences that could occur as I touched it.
My early explorations of my cock also coincided with my early explorations of practical magic1. As I discovered my cock, I also discovered magic and in the process found a way to marry my sexual energy and desire to my magical workings. I also tied all of this together into my emerging relationship as a man as I navigated the realities of puberty and figuring out who I was supposed as a man, both with myself and other people.
I knew there was power in my cock. Even the poorly taught sex ed classes made that clear. I could impregnate someone if I wasn’t careful. I knew I didn’t want kids and I also knew I was virile. It was a heady experience to sit with (pun intended). And as a young magician, I also recognized the power of sex and how it could transform a person’s life. It was clear to me that there were many possibilities available to explore around sex, and most people only focused on sex for enjoyment and/or procreation because that’s all they knew.
My first lover was a witch around my age who’d learned a bit about Tantra from her mother. We didn’t have sex right away. We instinctively both know that the act was worth waiting for, but we built up to it and one day we just knew and we had sex. I was a virgin, but she was not. My first few sexual experiences had all the awkwardness that everyone’s initial forays into sex have and yet it also felt like an initiation.
It was an initiation into pleasure and power and being young occultists, we quickly began exploring the magical applications of sex, to manifest results. What I quickly realized is that my cock was a magical wand and that her pussy was a portal to the realm of the imaginal. We could help each other access the latent possibilities within us and use sex as the medium to manifest results into the world.
We eventually broke up and went our separate ways, as happens with young lovers, but my initiation into sex magic was just beginning and with it also came the exploration of the mysteries of my cock as a magical wand and a medicine rod for transformation and healing work.